As yall know, I'm single so that means I spend 20 hours a day talking about being single and finding a man. Recently, my conversations have centered around what I'm looking for and I'm beginning to wonder, do I want too much? Do I have too many deal breakers? My ideal man:
- Must eat pork. I don't get down with this anti-pork generation. Make me a honey baked ham glazed with bacon grease.
- Must be funnier than me. And I'm pretty damn funny.
- Must work hard. You don't have to be doctor or a lawyer, but you better hustle hard and be the best damn (fill in the blank) there ever was.
- Must have good teef. Cuz I don't want buck-toothed children.
- Must not be douchey. I don't care where you got your degree from, everybody's sh*t stinks.
- Must be worldly. You gotta be able to talk about everything from Snooki to Syria. And take me places, an empty passport is a wasted passport.
- Must like to clean. Cuz I hate it. I'll do the cooking, but that bathroom will not clean itself.
- Must love Jesus. This one's a non-negotiable.
Ladies (and Gents), what are your dealbreakers?