Book Review: I hate everyone...starting with me

Word of advice: skip the first chapter. It's unnecessary, confusing & will make you not want to read the book.

Ok, now that we've got that out of the way...

I think Joan Rivers is hilarious.  This book, however, is not.  Don't get me wrong, it's amusing but it's a lil too jokey.  Like every sentence you write doesn't have to have a punch line after it.  Especially after reading books from other female comediennes, Chelsea Handler and Tina Fey, this book felt like it was trying to hard.

But, it is a quick read and will make you chuckle...maybe a good stocking stuffer or Barnes & Noble rainy day read.

Twerk Miley, Miley Twerk

So y'all still on this Miley Cyrus thing? Oh, nah? Well, I'ma comment anyways. 

So everyone is all up in arms about Miley twerking, being raunchy, acting Black (for serious?) and what not. But lemme tell y'all what, Miley is making a calculated move following in the footsteps of another one of the greatest voices of our generation: Rihanna. 

Follow me here. Rihanna broke into the music industry at like 15. She was a cute lil pop princess with a long flowy weave. She was on the brink of obscurity when she was rescued by Jay-Z who cut her hair, gave her some raunchy lyrics, and put her in a bustier. And years later, she's STILL. HERE.

Now, let's look at Miley. She started off as a Disney princess. She had long blond hair. (She can actually sing.) Her Disney show was over but she had to find a way to stay relevant. So, she chopped off her hair, started singing raunchy lyrics, and put on a bustier.  Next up for Miley, I predict a busted lip followed by probable drug usage.

And there you have it folks, the secret to fame...........

*Puts on bustier*

Book Review: Zoo

This is my first James Patterson book.  The book started a little like Rise of Planet of the Apes *cough* copycat *cough*.  But it turned out pretty interesting.  It definitely has a sci-fi feel to it so if you aren't into that, you might not be into this.  But it has politics, science, animals, love, Armageddon...not necessarily in that order.

I dunno, since I read Gone Girl nothing compares...

Salmon with White Wine Sauce

I've been getting requests for non-bacon recipes *cough* Janay *cough* ...  so here's one for ya: Salmon with White Wine Sauce.

Ingredients:
*1 salmon fillet
Salt & Pepper
Joe's Stuff (A special seasoning from my beloved NOLA)
1 TB Butter
1 minced garlic clove
1/2 c. white wine
1 c. rice
Olive oil

1. Season salmon fillets with salt, pepper, and Joe's Stuff.  Cajun seasoning will do just fine.

2. Pour oil in your pan, place your salmon skin side down.  Cook for about 4-5 minutes on each side.

3. In a small saucepan melt butter and whisk in your minced garlic.  Add wine and bring to a boil while constantly whisking.

4. Place your salmon over your rice then pour your sauce over your salmon.

Now you may eat.


*Obviously the portions for this recipe are for one person since, ya know, I'm living that single life...

"You Look Like You Can Sing"

Recently, I was out to dinner and there was a live band performing in the restaurant. The band, and their groupies, were doing some crowd participation when one of the groupies pointed at me and said those dreaded words: "You look like you can sing!"

Can I sing? Of course I can. But that's not the point! The hell is it about me that makes people think I can sing? Oh, maybe it's cuz I'm Black and a big girl. RACIST!

This is not the first (nor will it be the last) time someone has asked me this question. Anytime a plus size singer/actress gets famous the comparisons start:

LaTocha Scott from Xscape.

Toccara. 

Adele. 

Ok, maybe not Adele but you get my point.

The moral of the story: Well, there is no moral to this story.

Bacon Vanilla Pancakes

Just to solidify by reign as the Queen of Bacon, I bring to you Bacon Vanilla Pancakes. (I'll give you a minute to process.) And yes, they taste as good as they sound. And they were mad easy to make.

Ingredients

Bacon

Pancake Mix
Just a pinch of Vanilla Extract

*A piece of advice: you can put as much or as little bacon as you want in each pancake. I did a 2 pancakes to 1 strip of bacon ratio. Feel free to do whatever you want.

1. Fry your bacon, as much as or as little as you want.  (For you non-pork eaters, I guess you could do this with turkey bacon *rolls eyes*)

2.  Mix your pancake mix and pour it into your pan.

3.  Right before you get ready to flip the pancakes (when the batter starts bubbling) sprinkle bacon crumbles into your pancake.  Again, as much or as little as you want.

4.   Flip your pancake.

This is what the finished pancake looks like on the bottom.

5. Voila!

Trust me, you'll thank me later.

An Outfit Post?? Whaaa??

Y'all still there or nah? I know, I know, I've been MIA. Between running a preschool & running a preschool I have such little time to post. Actually, I am writing the post to let you guys know that if you wanna keep up with my outfits (and trust me you do) you should definitely follow me on Instagram...that's where the magic happens.

Okay, now onto this outfit. I wore this dress recently while out to brunch with one of my friends. He was visiting from Cali so we decided to hit up our old Harlem brunch go-to. Obviously, I looked cute. Actually, I bought this dress and was gonna take it back cuz I thought the hemline was weird. But, this blue is stunning on me & the dress fits me amazingly...who am I to deny the world this body.

Dress: Forever 21+

Shoes: Guess