The Secret

Now that I'm 30 (I'm gonna start all my blog posts like this from now on), I have learned the #1 secret about men. Ladies, throw out your Steve Harvey books, stop reading all those relationship blogs...I know the secret. 

The secret is: A man will wife you/commit to you/marry you when HE is ready. Nothing you can do, say, look like, dress like, or act like is going to speed up this process. 

It doesn't matter if all his friends are married. 

It doesn't matter if you can cook. 

It doesn't matter if you're a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. 

It doesn't matter if he's 40. 

It doesn't matter what Cosmo says are the Top 1000 ways to get a man.  

It doesn't matter if he loves his momma. 

It doesn't matter if he thinks you're amazing. 

If he ain't ready, he ain't doing it. 

Now that we've cleared that up, let's find that missing plane. 

Single Woman's Disease

Definition
Single Woman's Disease is the mental condition of being perpetually single while approaching or in your 30s.

How Common is it 
Scholars debate this number, but Single Woman's Disease is said to affect between 30-80% of Black women. Onset is typically after the age of 27.

Symptoms

• You've been on more bad dates than good dates
• You haven't been on a date in more than a year
• Every time you see an engagement, birth, or wedding announcement you want to barf
• You're parents speculate that you are a lesbian on the low
• You decide to get another degree since you've got nothing better to do
• You dip back to your ex 
• Checking your online dating app is the highlight of your Friday night 
• You've deduced that you will have to meet your husband on your living room couch, since you don't leave it on the weekends
• If one more person says "You'll find the right one when you least expect it" you're gonna go AWF!

How is it Diagnosed
If at any time you've been out with your girlfriends and uttered the phrase "N*66as ain't sh*t" ... you've got SWD

How is it Treated
Step into your amazing.  Live your life. Be the woman you always dreamed you would be right now.  Or, you know, that whole Prince Charming thing.

Countdown to 30!

So it's my birthday month...15 days til my 30th birthday and I am freaking...out.

I guess I always assumed that by my 30th birthday I'd be a bit more...hmmm...accomplished.  (As I sit here and write this, it's a Saturday night and I'm sitting alone, pants-less, on the couch.)  More accomplished in my personal life and professional life.  I assumed by 30 I would have had a husband, a baby, a Grammy.  I'm 0 for 3.

When I turned 25, I was in the thick of my quarter-life crisis and was all about life changes.  I quit my job as a teacher, moved to NYC, and went into debt started grad school.  As I approach 30, I'm beginning to realize that all I really want is to be...sure. Does that make sense?

So, to all my 30-somethings, what's the one piece of advice you wish someone told you when you turned 30?