Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Exit Interview



As you know, 3 months ago I was relieved of my duties to be a working person.  One of the things that is customary as you leave a company is to do an exit interview.  This is when you can be honest about your time at the company so they can inform and hopefully change their practices for the better.

I was recently chatting with one of my friends who has found herself back in the dating game after many years.  She just had her first date and although she wasn't really into the guy, she shared that she would have loved to do an exit interview afterward.  And I thought....BRILLIANT!

Ok, so I haven't been on a date since Pluto was a planet.  But the last date I went on, I thought went well; I looked cute, had great conversation, was hilarious (as usual) but the guy never called me again. Which irritated the hell outta me.  I wanted to call him up & put him through a series of question....but that woulda been crazy.  Or would it?

CRYSTAL METH DATING EXIT INTERVIEW

  1. Would you go on a date with me again?
  2. What was your favorite part of our date? What was your least favorite?
  3. Did you think I was cute? (Who am I kidding, of course you did)
  4. What would you change about our date?
  5. What were the most important factors in deciding to date me? My brain? My assets? Something else?
  6. Are you dating other people? What do they have to offer you that I don't?
  7. Would you recommend me to any of your friends?
  8. Do you have any additional questions or comments?

So this is why I'd like to officially institute the dating exit interview.  Patent pending...

Friday, February 22, 2013

Cheese Biscuits

This recipe post is an homage to my childhood.  My mother would dutifully make breakfast for our family every Saturday morning.  One of our family favorites were cheese biscuits.  As an adult, I love to find different uses for food, so these cheese biscuits were a perfect way to remix the standard refrigerated biscuits.

Ingredients:
1 can refrigerated biscuits
1/4 c. of cheddar cheese for each cheese biscuit
Cooking spray

1.  Flatten out each biscuit


2.  Place cheese in center of each flattened biscuit





3. Fold in the sides of your biscuits over the cheese


4. Bake for whatever time it says on the package
5. Boom. 


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pencil Me In

Aight, I need yall to settle a debate my friends and I have been having for over a year now.  We all know that I have an amazing body.  Ok.  So some of my friends feel like pencil skirts are inappropriate to wear to work.

Here are some pics of me in pencil skirt at work:


Okay...maybe not this pose...



So, what is the verdict, meth-heads?  Yea or nay?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

30? Single? What's wrong with you?

This post is geared more to my male meth-heads (that's y'all's nickname by the way) but ladies, feel free to weigh in.

I've been getting hit with this "Why are you Single" question a lot recently. I used to think dudes just used this as a pick up line...and that's definitely still true, but I think a lot of guys are genuinely asking this question. When I add in that I have no kids & their minds are officially blown.

So my question is: is the fact that I'm so 'rare' more of a commentary about me or of what we expect of women, particularly Black women, these days. Cuz lemme tell you what, in many cases I'm not rare. Sure I'm gorgeous, educated, hilarious, can cook, extraordinary and watch sports...but I have tons of friends who have at least 3 of those attributes and who are also single.

So, is it us......or y'all?? The reason I'm still single?? I haven't found anyone who matches my amazing.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Book Review: The Sacred Place


This book was written by the same author of Perfect Peace, which I really liked.  The Sacred Place, however, was just okay.

The story is very Emmett Till-esque: a 13 year old boy from Chicago visits relatives in 1955 Mississippi, "disrespects" a White woman, and is subsequently murdered.  Sounds pretty straight forward right?  Well, not so much.  The book kinda lasts longer than it needs too.  Just like his last book, the author draws on spirts, ancestors, and the supernatural in this book.  There is even a Tom Hanks-Wilson situation.  It was weird.

So, yall don't have to read this one unless it's on clearance on your Kindle.

Next Up: Mockingjay!  (The final book in the Hunger Games series)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

How not to get Catfish'd

This picture is HI-larious

So, unless you've been living under a rock, you prolly have heard of Manti Te'o or the online phenomenon of catfish.  Catfish is when you meet someone online who purports to be one person but is actually another.  Manti Te'o is a Notre Dame middle linebacker who was being catfished for over 2 years....by a dude.  I won't go into all the details about the Te'o story...it's twisted and convoluted and the dude who was responsible for it is pretty narcissistic and twisted BUT here are my suggestions for how NOT to get catfish'd:

  1. If you meet someone online who has an awesome personality AND is fine...you're prolly being catfished.  No model is taking to Facebook to meet people.
  2. If the person you meet has a series of horrific events happen to them like their cat dies, their car blew up, and they got stuck in quicksand, you're prolly being catfished.  I mean really, who actually gets stuck in quicksand.
  3. If they can't FaceTime or Skype with you, you're prolly being catfished.  Every 4th person in the world has an iPhone, iPad, or iMac.
Ok, so those are my suggestions on how NOT to get catfished.  Do any of you have any hilariously horrific online dating stories??

Sunday, February 3, 2013

XLVII


Just a quick post as I head out to watch the HarBowl....

Dear Non-sports fan (and yes I'm talkin to you ladies who fake chose a team for the DAY)

Stay out of my way today.  If you don't know the difference between a touch down and a lay up, just sit down and eat your chicken wings.  I hear there will be funny commercials and a really cute girl* performing at half time.  As for the sports watching and trash talk, leave that to the professionals.

Signed,
A Professional

*Beyonce, I worship at your Louboutins...
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