Friday, December 6, 2013

Lazy


As a serious blogger, I've gotta vent about some of my journalistic peers. It seems that blogs and other media outlets are becoming lazy. It's bad enough that people don't read actual newspapers or books anymore. But now people won't even read articles online...they settle for lists.

You know these lists *cough* Buzzfeed *cough* ... Top 2 ways to tell that you're a girl or 10 things you find in your belly button.  Is our collective attention span so short now that we can only digest information in 5 word chunks? Matter fact, did you stop reading this post after the first paragraph?! See. Lazy.

For a New Years resolution, why don't we resolve to be a more educated populace?  Or, let me put it in terms you'll understand:

Top One Thing that is Making Americans Dumber:
1. Mental Incapacity   

Signed, 
A Lazy Blogger who only writes new posts two times a year

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Book Review: Coldest Winter Ever


When I told my friend, a former high school English teacher, that I was reading this book, she replied, "Are you a 13 year old girl?" Apparently, I was supposed to have read this book in my formative years, however I went to a Christian school where we read redacted versions of classic novels. But I digress...

The Coldest Winter Ever was written by Sister Souljah. Just like Random Family, the book peers into the ups and downs of a girl growing up in these rough New York City streets. 

The book was an interesting read except for the middle portion in which SS inserts herself into the book as a character. Are you following? Yeah, it was weird. Not to mention, her presence in the book was uninteresting and unnecessary. But, all in all, it was a good read. I might even check out the sequel. 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Book Review: I hate everyone...starting with me


Word of advice: skip the first chapter. It's unnecessary, confusing & will make you not want to read the book.

Ok, now that we've got that out of the way...

I think Joan Rivers is hilarious.  This book, however, is not.  Don't get me wrong, it's amusing but it's a lil too jokey.  Like every sentence you write doesn't have to have a punch line after it.  Especially after reading books from other female comediennes, Chelsea Handler and Tina Fey, this book felt like it was trying to hard.

But, it is a quick read and will make you chuckle...maybe a good stocking stuffer or Barnes & Noble rainy day read.


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Twerk Miley, Miley Twerk

So y'all still on this Miley Cyrus thing? Oh, nah? Well, I'ma comment anyways. 

So everyone is all up in arms about Miley twerking, being raunchy, acting Black (for serious?) and what not. But lemme tell y'all what, Miley is making a calculated move following in the footsteps of another one of the greatest voices of our generation: Rihanna. 


Follow me here. Rihanna broke into the music industry at like 15. She was a cute lil pop princess with a long flowy weave. She was on the brink of obscurity when she was rescued by Jay-Z who cut her hair, gave her some raunchy lyrics, and put her in a bustier. And years later, she's STILL. HERE.



Now, let's look at Miley. She started off as a Disney princess. She had long blond hair. (She can actually sing.) Her Disney show was over but she had to find a way to stay relevant. So, she chopped off her hair, started singing raunchy lyrics, and put on a bustier.  Next up for Miley, I predict a busted lip followed by probable drug usage.


And there you have it folks, the secret to fame...........

*Puts on bustier*

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Book Review: Zoo



This is my first James Patterson book.  The book started a little like Rise of Planet of the Apes *cough* copycat *cough*.  But it turned out pretty interesting.  It definitely has a sci-fi feel to it so if you aren't into that, you might not be into this.  But it has politics, science, animals, love, Armageddon...not necessarily in that order.

I dunno, since I read Gone Girl nothing compares...


Monday, September 30, 2013

Salmon with White Wine Sauce


I've been getting requests for non-bacon recipes *cough* Janay *cough* ...  so here's one for ya: Salmon with White Wine Sauce.

Ingredients:
*1 salmon fillet
Salt & Pepper
Joe's Stuff (A special seasoning from my beloved NOLA)
1 TB Butter
1 minced garlic clove
1/2 c. white wine
1 c. rice
Olive oil

1. Season salmon fillets with salt, pepper, and Joe's Stuff.  Cajun seasoning will do just fine.

2. Pour oil in your pan, place your salmon skin side down.  Cook for about 4-5 minutes on each side.

3. In a small saucepan melt butter and whisk in your minced garlic.  Add wine and bring to a boil while constantly whisking.

4. Place your salmon over your rice then pour your sauce over your salmon.

Now you may eat.


*Obviously the portions for this recipe are for one person since, ya know, I'm living that single life...


Saturday, September 21, 2013

"You Look Like You Can Sing"

Recently, I was out to dinner and there was a live band performing in the restaurant. The band, and their groupies, were doing some crowd participation when one of the groupies pointed at me and said those dreaded words: "You look like you can sing!"

Can I sing? Of course I can. But that's not the point! The hell is it about me that makes people think I can sing? Oh, maybe it's cuz I'm Black and a big girl. RACIST!

This is not the first (nor will it be the last) time someone has asked me this question. Anytime a plus size singer/actress gets famous the comparisons start:

LaTocha Scott from Xscape.



Toccara. 


Adele. 


Ok, maybe not Adele but you get my point.

The moral of the story: Well, there is no moral to this story.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bacon Vanilla Pancakes

Just to solidify by reign as the Queen of Bacon, I bring to you Bacon Vanilla Pancakes. (I'll give you a minute to process.) And yes, they taste as good as they sound. And they were mad easy to make.


Ingredients
Bacon
Pancake Mix
Just a pinch of Vanilla Extract

*A piece of advice: you can put as much or as little bacon as you want in each pancake. I did a 2 pancakes to 1 strip of bacon ratio. Feel free to do whatever you want.


  1. Fry your bacon, as much as or as little as you want.  (For you non-pork eaters, I guess you could do this with turkey bacon *rolls eyes*)

2.  Mix your pancake mix and pour it into your pan.

3.  Right before you get ready to flip the pancakes (when the batter starts bubbling) sprinkle bacon crumbles into your pancake.  Again, as much or as little as you want.



4.   Flip your pancake.

This is what the finished pancake looks like on the bottom.

5. Voila!



Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Monday, September 9, 2013

An Outfit Post?? Whaaa??

Y'all still there or nah? I know, I know, I've been MIA. Between running a preschool & running a preschool I have such little time to post. Actually, I am writing the post to let you guys know that if you wanna keep up with my outfits (and trust me you do) you should definitely follow me on Instagram...that's where the magic happens.

Okay, now onto this outfit. I wore this dress recently while out to brunch with one of my friends. He was visiting from Cali so we decided to hit up our old Harlem brunch go-to. Obviously, I looked cute. Actually, I bought this dress and was gonna take it back cuz I thought the hemline was weird. But, this blue is stunning on me & the dress fits me amazingly...who am I to deny the world this body.




Dress: Forever 21+
Shoes: Guess


Saturday, September 7, 2013

Book Review: Platinum



This book is about the lives of four women in hip hop.  It's kinda what Love & Hip Hop was supposed to be, minus Stevie J.  It talks about some familiar stories in hip hop: cheating, drug use, cheating, infedelity, money and cheating.

The book was pretty good with a lot of twists and turns.  Although some of the stories are a bit ripped from the headlines, it's still an interesting read.


Monday, August 26, 2013

The Five Guys You'll Date


I think there are 5 types of Guys you'll come across in your dating life on your way to meeting Mr. Right...

The Douche: This guy is definitely good looking.  The problem is, he knows it.  He thinks he's God's gift to humanity and you should be lucky to date him.  He most likely has an advanced degree and a good job so money isn't an object.  His one major flaw is he's an asshole...and that's hard to overlook.

The Baller: The Baller, unlike The Douche, may or may not be good looking.  That's not his most important trait, however.  He's a baller so he's got guap.  He's VIP everywhere he goes, buys you shoes, bags, purses and even whisks you away for weekend getaways.  But, just like The Douche, he thinks he's God's gift to humanity and unfortunately for you, there are 20 other girls lined up to tell him he is.

The Corner Boy: The Corner Boy, also known as The Bad Boy in some circles, is every girls favorite.  He's dangerous, got tattoos all on his neck and other unemployable places, and he's usually done hard time.  (...cuz criminal records are uber sexy.)  The Corner Boy is attractive but it's his element of danger that is the most attractive.  He may or may not have money which he may or may not have acquired legally.  But none of that matters, you're living on the edge and drinking Henny straight out the bottle and you like it!

The Nice Guy: The Nice Guy is attractive in that librarian who would be sexy if she just took off her glasses and let down her bun kinda way.  He has earning potential but zero sex appeal.  He's always a gentleman and you enjoy his company but in a hanging out with your grandmother kind of way.

Mr. Right...for someone else: This guy might be the most confusing of all.  He looks good on paper and meets all of the requirements of what you are looking for in a guy.  His biggest flaw is there is just not enough chemistry between you two.  While he's a great guy, and definitely should be Mr. Right, he's just Mr. Right...for someone else.

So, do you think I covered all the basics?  Did I leave anyone out?

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Humble Brag

Humble Brag
adjective

1. When you, usually conciously, try to get away with bragging about yourself by couching it in a phony show of humility.
2. A form of self-promotion where the promoter brags about himself in the context of a humble statement.


I've been noticing a lot of this on social media lately.  You know, when someone boasts an achievement while couching it in a statement to show their humility.  For example, "On my date with the doctor last night, he whisked me to St. Tropez...but I drank wine coolers in the private jet cuz I''m just a regular girl." Woof!  Yall know you have at least one friend who can't seem to go a day without a humble brag.  (And yes, these are the same people who contribute to Social Media Envy.)  Lemme drop some knowledge on you: a truly humble person doesn't need to brag about their accomplishments on Facebook, Twitter, or anywhere else.  Let your achievements speak for themselves...The Lord will take care of the rest.     

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Book Review: Gone Girl


So this was my first suspense novel & I most say it was pretty damn good. Gone Girl follows the story of a married couple when the wife suddenly disappears.

This book had a lot of jaw dropping moments and the way the author weaves the story together is pretty incredible.  I will say, however, I thought the ending was just, ehhh.  The book has so many twists and turns, I wanted the ending to knock my socks off....but they're still on.

I definitely recommend this one for your poolside reading.

Next Up: Platinum by Aliya S. King

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Mad Good Chicken

Yes, it's another chicken recipe.  I'm Black.  Deal with it.

Also, I didn't take pictures cuz it was my first time making this dish.  Whenever I make a dish for the first time, I never know how it will turn out so I don't usually take pictures...but this was mad good.  That's why I call it Mad Good Chicken.

Ingredients
Chicken Thighs
Dijon Mustard
Mayo
Soy Sauce
Seasoned Bread Crumbs
Panko Bread Crumbs
Salt & Pepper


  1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees
  2. Mix together Mustard, a bit of Mayo, and a bit of Soy Sauce.  The actual recipe called for Worcestershire sauce, but since I'm the Ghetto Gourmet, I used leftover soy sauce packets for the win!  I mixed these together in a large plastic freezer bag for easy clean up.
  3. Put your chicken thighs into your bag of goodness and mix around.
  4. In a separate shallow dish, mix together seasoned bread crumbs, a small amount of panko bread crumbs, and salt and pepper.
  5. Coat your chicken thighs in the bread crumb mixture and place on a lightly greased baking sheet.  (If you have a baking rack, even better)
  6. Lightly drizzle some olive oil over your chicken things, skin side up.
  7. Bake your chicken for 45-50 minutes.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Book Review: Becoming Sister Wives


As I've told y'all before, I watch ALL reality TV; from cupcakes to little people to ho-fessionals.  So when my favorite polygamists released a book about their lives, I had to read it.  For those unfamiliar, the TLC reality show is about 1 guy, 4 wives, and about 1758734 kids.  In the book, each wife gets to tell her story about their upbringing, their individual marriage, how they raise their kids, and how they interact with their sister wives.  If you watch the show, you're probably a bit curious as to how they all got started.  If you're curious about polygamists that don't wear house on the praire dresses, this is probably an interesting read.  But bottom line: you probably won't be interested in this book if you aren't a fan of the show.

Next Up:

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Sorella

There is no one on this earth I ride harder for than my sister.

My sister and I can text each other one word and will bust out laughing.

My sister is smarter than me.

My sister is 7 shades lighter than me, yet we have the same mother and father.

My sister and I are exact opposites in some ways, yet just like each other in other ways.

My sister knows everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about me.

My sister once gave me a pencil as a Christmas gift.

My sister is the first person I call when I have good news and the first person I cry to when I have bad news.

My sister and I got matching tattoos for her birthday last year.  This year, I think I have to give her a kidney...


My sister would give me the last $5 out of her bank account.

My sister is the only person who can call me fat.

My sister is a homeowner AND a business owner.

My sister, although she's younger than me, is my conscious.

Happy Birthday to my sissy, my BFF, my first child...my sorella!



Friday, June 21, 2013

2013 Summer Bucket List

Summer is officially kinda here.  Well, in NYC, one day it will feel like summer and the next day Fall, but I digress.  Last summer, I was perusing one of my fav blogs and saw the author posted a Summer Bucket List; 10 things she wanted to do before Summer was over.  So, here's my 2013 Summer Bucket List:

Guess that about sums it up...

  1. Host a dinner party.
  2. Eat a beignet. (CHECK!)
  3. See Above.
  4. Walk the Brooklyn Bridge.
  5. Eat a deep dish pizza.
  6. Go on a yacht.
  7. Go on the Staten Island ferry...without actually having to go to Staten Island.  And no, this does not fulfill #6. 
  8. Ride one of those NYC tour buses. 
  9. Hit a new brunch spot every weekend.
  10. Weekend trip to Martha's Vineyard.
I'm currently seeking Bucket List Buddies.  Rigorous application process...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Envy


Do you ever find yourself having social media envy? You look at Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter and see your friends living these fabulous lives & for a moment you get jealous. You see your married friends popping out beautiful babies; your single friends being fabulous in exotic locations and for a second you're envious. But you have to remember, people are only putting their best foot forward on social media. Nobody puts their fight with their husband or 4 hour naps on social media. 

I've found myself on both sides of Social Media Envy. Yes, I live a fabulous life...but not as much as y'all think. Most days, I just live a quiet life in my Harlem brownstone trying to get my DVR to 0%. Let y'all tell it, I'm out every night. 

Just remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  After all, The Lord dedicated a whole commandment to this. (Exodus 20:17)


Sunday, June 9, 2013

Farewell, My Beloved


Before Hedu Turkoglu. Before LeBron James, there was Grant Hill, the ORIGINAL point forward. Last week, Grant quietly retired from the NBA after 18 seasons. And officially broke my heart. 

Grant was the first basketball player I ever loved. He was a great player and a great man. While other girls had pictures of Paul McCartney or Elvis in their locker, I had a picture of Grant. After his first six seasons of his career in Detroit, Grant averaged 6.2 assists, 7.7 rebounds and 21.5 points.  His Detroit numbers are comparable to LeBron's career stats (6.9 assists, 7.3 rebounds, 27.6 points).  I'm tryna tell you, that boy was good!

He woulda been one of the greats if he hadn't been plagued with injuries. First ankle injuries, then a near deadly staph infection, then a hernia. But he still lasted 18 years in the league. To me, he'll always be Number One in my heart. 

Farewell, My Beloved Grant.

I took this picture while I was supposed to be watching my BFF graduate from Business School

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Sweet N Sexy Sangria

So y'all know I love my friends & I love alcohol cooking for them.  Although I'm not a fan of wine, I do love a glass of sangria.  My friends and I recently had a picnic in Central Park complete with basket and blanket;  I was responsible for libations.

Ingredients
1 Bottle of Red Wine
1/2 c. Brandy
1 c. Orange Liqueur
*3 c. Lemon lime soda
1 c. Sugar
1 c. to 1 1/2 c. Water
A whole buncha fruit  (I used blackberries, an orange, strawberries and an apple)

*I didn't have any soda so I used my old steady Crystal Light Lemonade.  She always comes through in the clutch.

The cast of characters


1. Mix all of the ingredients together in a large bowl



2. Cover with foil and refrigerate over night


3. If it's too sweet, just add water in 1/3 c. increments

Ummm, this was delicious.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Book Review: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office



This book is written by a female corporate trainer and lists 101 mistakes women make in business.  As a woman who was not trained in the corporate world but wound up there, this book was a necessity.  The chapter about How you Respond in business was the most pertinent to me cuz I have a big mouth and will quickly let people know that I am smarter than them...hence the lay off.  Some of my favorite chapters were:
  • Denying Your Power
  • Doing the Work of Others
  • Asking Permission
  • Protecting Jerks
  • Wearing the Wrong Hairstyle (I guess the blond is a no go...)
  • Accepting the Fait Accompli
  • Tolerating Inappropriate Behavior
  • Accepting Dead-End Assignments
  • Playing the Gender Card
All in all, this book is a must read for any woman in business.

Next Up: Becoming Sister Wives

Sunday, May 26, 2013

No Edges


Look here, I'ma only say this once. (Well I think this might be twice.) I'm tired of seeing you ladies walking around with no edges. If you don't know about the 'no edges' phenomenon, it's when a woman has worn her weave so tight or so much that the edges of her hair have eroded. Yes, eroded.  I was in the grocery store recently and my cashier had surpassed 'no edges' and had gone into the 'no forehead' territory. I wanted to yank her moldy weave out of her scalp but then I remembered that I can't fight.

Ladies, I know y'all think long hair is sexy but there's nothing sexy about prematurely balding because you couldn't let go of your weave.  And let me tell you, from personal experience, there's nothing sexier than a fly chick with a cute short hair cut.



Monday, May 13, 2013

Fast Five

Y'all still been working out?? Yeah, me neither. But, I have been making great strides with my healthy eating. So here are five things you can do today and start to see results tomorrow.

1. Steamfesh Vegetables ~ In my household (of one person) we have vegetables with every meal. Couple of reasons: you can fill up on veggies and they are usually 0 or 1 points. (JHud ain't the only one feeling good.) These vegetables are wonderful because all you need to do is throw them in the microwave, add a lil seasoning here and there, and then you're done.

2. Groupon ~ Now this idea I stole from one of my girls: she's given up her gym membership and uses Groupon purely for her exercise needs. She's constantly changing up her workout, getting great deals/discounts, and is no longer tied to a gym membership.

3. Weight Watchers bar code scanner ~ This might be WW greatest invention thus far; you use the bar code scanner app on your phone, scan the bar code on the item and it automatically tells you how many points the item is.  Genius!  Now I walk up and down the aisle of the grocery store scanning and scaring myself into only eating fruits and vegetables.  Again...Genius!

4. Crystal Light ~ Let's keep it all the way funky...drinking water is boring, soda is definitely where it's at. But soda, although delicious, is terrible for you. This is where Crystal Light comes in; it tastes good, is sugar free, and has a really cool name ;-) They're even adding flavors like mojito and appletini so you can fake your cocktails too.

5. 1:1 Water/Cocktail ratio ~ As I've told you before, I have a very active social life due to my undeniable personality and popularity.  One of the things I've learned is the 1:1 water/cocktail ratio.  Drinking a glass of water after every drink fills you up AND keeps you hydrated....no hangover!




Monday, May 6, 2013

Hidden

If you've noticed that I haven't liked your photo or commented on your status in a while, there's a reason: you've been hidden from my timeline...and essentially my life. The good news is, I like you enough not to defriend you, the bad news is you annoy me to the point of not wanting to 'see' you daily on social media.

Actually, it's your fault. You probably share every funny picture you see on the Internet, post pictures of every meal, and commentate every reality TV show you watch. We all know social media is about connecting with people on a different level and in a different space, but you're using it wrong. Trust me, I'm speaking for your 765 Facebook friends when I tell you STOP, you're annoying!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Book Review: The Reverend's Wife


This book is about a Reverend and his wife.  The end.

Actually, this book is about the marital struggles of world-famous pastor and his wife.  It's basically a Lifetime movie.  Cheating, lying, alcoholism, and redemption all wrapped up in a neat lil bow.   

It's clear this book is a part of a series and not the first part.  The author constantly references things that happened in the past that you only get a cursory understanding of.  Also, the book really begins to ramp up in the middle but then deflates rapidly at the end.  All in all, this book was aight, but I wouldn't go running to download.

Next Up:

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Friend Roster

I have an AMAZING circle of friends.  (I bet mine is better than yours.)  When you're younger, you're quick to call any and everybody your friends.  But, the older you get, the smaller your circle becomes; your friends become your family.

Just like in basketball, you have your Starting (Fab) Five:  

  • Roll Dog - This is the person that you can call up at 1 in the morning & say let's go out & they are ready to roll!  The key to your roll dog is they have to live in the same city and just as they are down to roll with you at anytime, it has to work both ways.
  • Life Coach - This is the person that you can tell all of your issues and secrets and they give you great advice.  This person can look at any situation and give you the most logical, rational answer.
  • Lawyer/Doctor/Financial Advisor - When you have to choose a stock option or that rash just won't go away; this is the person that you call.   
  • Life of the Party - This is the friend who knows where to party and who to party with wherever you go.  Whether yall are in Morocco or Bismarck, North Dakota, they'll have you poppin bottles.  
  • Connector - This is the friend who knows someone in every field.  This is the person you call up when you are looking for a new job, a new apartment, or a new man.  
I think with my friends, I'm the Life Coach or the Roll Dog.  I can't even find myself a man, so I'm definitely not a Connector....   

So, which one are you?  Who's in your Fab Five?

   

Friday, April 19, 2013

Cuz I'ma Girl


I've shared with yall the highs and lows of living in New York City.  However, you experience this city very differently as a single woman.  As I often say, living in this city will put hair on your chest.  I have had to become resourceful and resilient.  Since I'm a single woman in the city, I've had to acquire a ladder, a toolbox, and mace.  I've had to fix a boiler, catch a mouse, unclog a toilet, and kill a giant flying roach.

I always knew I wanted to get married, but now I know why: so I will never have to do any of those things again.





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