Friday, December 30, 2011

My Year in Review

So I was gonna do one of those cool "Best moments in 2011" but pop culture is so fast-pace, I can't remember anything that happened before last Tuesday. Therefore, I'ma share MY Best Moments of 2011.

April ~ Black Alumni Weekend at The University of Virginia, the #2 public university in the nation!  BAW is always a great time to catch up with my Wahoos & do Wahooligan things.  The highlight of this year had to be Biz Markie.  I know what you're thinking, but don't sleep on Biz on the 1's and 2's

May ~ VIP tickets to see Musiq.  Thanks to one of my good friends, I got to see my man Musiq live!  He sang all my faves, especially Loooooooooooveeee (that was me singing).  And we got this picture.  And no, I'm not wearing heels, he's just a lil man. 

June ~ 1st Annual Girls Vacation.  This year we went to Aruba & we had an amazing time.  Our days went like this: wake up, beach, drink, beach, eat, drink, pool, eat, party, bed.  (Just writing this, makes me wish I had an Aruba Ariba in my hand.)  We had an amazing 6 days laying up in a phat suite, yeah I said phat.  Can't wait to do it again...wonder where we're going this year??

July ~ I celebrated my SIN-sational Twenty Seventh! 

October ~ Finished my 2nd Masters degree.  I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this joint.  Although you can't call me Dr. Div just yet, I'm still pretty proud of myself.  I finished my Ed.M. in Sociology and Education from Teachers College, Columbia University.  Oh, yall ain't know I was gorgeous AND smart!

November ~ Started this blog!  And for that you are ALL appreciative.

So, let's have a toast to 2011 and here's wishing that 2012 is even better!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Book Review: A Belle in Brooklyn

As the learn-ed scholar that I am, you would think that I love to read.  Well, I used to...3 college degrees ago.  I recently completed my 2nd Masters and vowed that I would rekindle my love for reading.  So I got a NYPL library card & got to it.  My first book after my 10 year hiatus was A Belle in Brooklyn.

I started following Belle on Twitter a while ago.  (I refer to her as Belle cuz we are BFFs in my head.)  The first thing I noticed about her was the platinum blonde streaks in her hair...I adore them.  (More on this later.)  Belle started off working at magazines and eventually started a blog which lead to this fab book.  A Belle in Brooklyn is basically the life story & life lessons of a 20-something making her way through NYC.  Wait a minute, I'M a 20-something making my way through NYC!  I love Belle's candor & reading the book feels like your girlfriend recounting all the hilariously awkward and awesome moments of her life.  What I love the most about Belle is her assertiveness.  As a sweet, shy (no really, I am) gal myself, I admire the way Belle fearlessly handles relationships, career decisions, and tackles this great big beautiful city.

So, cheers to you Belle & all of us Belles-in-the-making. 

Next up for Div's Book Club: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands by Chelsea Handler.  The title alone is hilarious to me...thanks for the recommendation Kimmy T.

PS. What yall think about me getting platinum blonde streaks???? :-)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Petition: Keep the Kardashians out of sports

As I've mentioned before, I'm an avid sports fan.  As a fan, I must say the WORST thing to happen to sports in the last 5 years (besides the cheating, gambling, & Sandusky-ing) is the Kardashians.  Let me give you a lil history of these ladies.

Reggie Bush was the first.  He dated Kim while he was on the New Orleans Saints.  When the Saints won the Superbowl in 2009, it was a great moment for Reggie.  Every athlete's goal is to win the championship in their respective sport.  Well, while Reggie was being interviewed & congratulated, who decided that was the perfect time to jump on the field and take a seat??  Kim Kardashian.  This man just won a SUPERBOWL but somehow this became her moment.  I saw the look in Reggie's eye (something to the effect of oh no this B---- didn't!)...he dropped her shortly after.

Lamar Odom was next.  He's an average player in the NBA.  He won 6th man of the year recently, so he's on the better end of the average players.  He married Khloe a few years back & despite what everyone thought, they're still going strong.  Lamar just got traded to the Mavs & instead of the news story being about why the hell any team would want Lamar Odom, it was about whether or not Khloe would be okay moving to Dallas!  Umm, how about we don't care.  Sit down, shut up & cheer just like every other NBA wife.

Kris Humphries, who you probably never heard of before April, is the most recent Kardashian victim.  Last week, he was voted the most hated NBA player.  Now explain to me how a man who averages 14 MPG, 5.6 PPG and  has been on 4 teams in 9 years could be the most hated player?  Maybe it was his sham of a 72-day marriage to America's #1 Ho-fessional, Kim K.

And let us not forget the shell of a man that was formerly Bruce Jenner.  By the looks of their E! reality show, Bruce has been totally emasculated (he's not doing himself any favors with that horrible face lift either).  Bruce was an Olympic athlete...he was on a Wheaties box for crying out loud.  Now, he just looks like Billie Jean King.  I like Bruce, I really do...I think he's the only voice of reason in that cacophony of stupidity.  If he know like I know, he should just count his losses and get out now.   

Look, I respect everybody's hustle.  If you a ho-fessional, then be a ho-fessional.  Go sell some more perfume, make another sex tape, or whatever you do....just please, stay away from sports.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Twidda taught me

*Twidda is trademarked by me (and a few others) and refers to Black Twitter.  Black Twitter is where things go to die.

I joined twitter (@AllEyesOnDiv) in June of this year after years of fighting it.  I couldn't comprehend how people would need to update their lives constantly or why anyone would even care.  Little did I know, Twitter was the best thing to happen to me.  Twitter was the place for all my random thoughts and my new #1 news & comedy source.  And then I stumbled upon Twidda, Twitter's step-brother's cousins baby's moms....and that's when things got interesting.  Here are a few things I discovered on Twidda.

1. Women have low self-esteem.  I know, that's not new.  But self-esteem is at an all time low on Twidda.  If you wake up one morning & decide to take a picture of yourself butt naked and put it up on the WORLD WIDE WEB, you probably have low self-esteem.

2. Men are shallow visual creatures.  Do you think guys follow girls on Twidda because their tweets are funny, witty, inspiring, and thought-provoking?? Uhhh, nah.  Guys follow girls in the hopes that those girls will eventually get butt naked.  Noticing a trend here?

3. Some stereotypes are RIGHT.  Case in point, apparently Michael Jordan released his 5782467th shoe.  Do you know what people were doin yesterday?? Standing in line for those shoes.  Do you know what happened with the payroll tax yesterday?? Didn't think so.

All in all, I love Twitter; I love Black people.  But sometimes, we gotta do better.

What are your favorite/most hilarious moments on Twidda??

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Recipe Rundown: Short Ribs

Sunday has always been on of my favorite days of the week.  In my family, Sundays are for Church, Lifetime movies, Football/Basketball, and Food.  So I've decided to share some of my favorite recipes with yall.  Today's recipe rundown is my mom's famous short ribs!  (Whoops, hope this isn't a secret family recipe.)

You'll need:

Short Ribs
1 packet of onion soup mix
1 can of cream of Mushroom soup
1 c. of water
salt & pepper to taste

1. Salt & Pepper your short ribs

2. Brown them on top of the stove

3. Mix in onion soup mix & 1/2 cup of water

4. Cover & Bake at 350 degrees for 40 mins.
5. Add cream of mushroom soup and 1/2 cup of water.  Cover & Bake for another 45 mins.

By now, your kitchen will smell amazing 

6. Stir & put back in the oven until short ribs fall off the bone.

All in all, this takes about 3 hours to be delicious! 

Happy eating!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Christmas Countdown: Favorite Christmas Songs

As I've told yall already, I LOVE Christmas.  The day after Thanksgiving, I unleash the Holiday playlist on my iPhone & I rock out until Dec. 25.  There are definitely Christmas classics that everyone knows:
  1. Mariah Carey Merry Christmas is undoubtedly the best Christmas album ever
  2. Anything by the Temptations & Jackson 5.  What can I say, they're legends
  3. Donny Hathaway "This Christmas" is one of the most amazing songs ever written!
  4. The Preacher's Wife Soundtrack.  What can I say, pre-crack Whitney was pretty damn great.
  5. Chuck Brown "Merry Christmas Baby" for my DMV heads

And then there are some new jams that I think are instant classics.

Best version of "This Christmas": Chris Brown


Best Half on a Baby Christmas Song: Justin Bieber "Christmas Eve"

Most underrated Christmas Song: Katy Perry - "White Christmas"

My most-played Christmas Song: Rascal Flatts - "I'll be home for Christmas"

I couldn't find these videos on YouTube Honorable Mentions: 

Best Jesus is the Reason Song: Kelly Price - "Messiah has come"
Instant Classic: Stevie Wonder & India.Arie - "The Christmas Song"

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Fried Chicken, Watermelon & Hip Hop

For those that don't know, fried chicken, watermelon & Hip Hop are the keys to Black people's heart!  Well at least, this is what advertisers think.

Exhibit A: Popeye's Lady

If she shakes her neck at me one more time!!! HONEY!  Besides the fact that this woman is selling fried chicken, she's doing it in the most stereotypical dialect possible.  She might as well say Come get this chicken fo massah see you.  Trust me Popeyes, Black people will continue to buy your chicken even without all the finger waggin.

Exhibit B: McDonald's
When I say 'Chicken', yall say 'McNugget' ... "Chicken" "McNugget"

We already have a McDonald's on every block in Harlem, there is no need for an enticing hip hop beat in your commercials.

Exhibit C: Sneakers

Now I KNOW Black people aren't the only ones who wear shoes...

Exhibit D - Z: Any commercial on BET

Do yall realize advertisers make different commercials for different channels?? Have you ever seen a Dr. Miracle's commercial on channel 4?? I rest my case.

In 2011, you would think that as a country we have progressed past tried and true stereotypes of yesteryear.  However, just read a newspaper cartoon, type "why do Black people" on Google, or in this case turn on the TV to see that we haven't really made it that far.


Saturday, December 10, 2011

Play for Pay?

Do you know how much universities make off of collegiate sports? A gazillion dollars.

Recently, college athletes & their programs have gotten in trouble for getting free stuff: cars, tattoos, houses, pre-marital sex. While this is against NCAA policies, can you blame these guys? They work just as hard as professional athletes but with 0% of the pay. Now I understand they get scholarships & stipends, but is it enough? Especially when you consider that collegiate sports has become such a big business and largely on free labor; these schools are profiting on the backs of their athletes.

The most pressing issue for me is that many of these athletes are Black...40 million dollar slaves, indeed. They're promised a world class education, prospects to go to the league, but how many of them actually make it? What happens to the athlete who has spent 4 years taking classes that fit around a practice schedule rather than fit into a major? How many athletes have tutors (and/or ho-fessionals) doing their homework so they can focus on studying plays?

While I'm sure this happens to students of all colors, Black males disproportionately get the short end of the stick (I know, tell you something you don't know.) As if K-12 educational options for Black males weren't challenging enough, now they're getting screwed post-secondary too?

I'm not advocating for these athletes to break the rules but we have to look at why they're are doing it. Would YOU work for a million-dollar corporation that paid you in homework, hoodies & harlots.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Chick who Hates Chick Flicks

I HATE ROMANTIC COMEDIES!  I hate everything about them.  From the acting, to the horrible & predictable dialogue and story lines.  I'd rather potty train a 2 year old then watch one.

To me, romantic comedies just aren't believable.  There's no way a woman that looks like Scarlett Johannsen is living in an apartment in NYC and her next door neighbor just happens to look like Ryan Reynolds.  That's not real.  I've lived in NYC for nearly 3 years and my next door neighbor is a 70 year old Puerto Rican woman.  Also, all these movies have a happy ending.  Like seriously, all the problems in these people's lives are solved in 90 mins??  Nuh uh.  Not real.  What I dislike the most about these movies is that the 'comedy' in romantic comedy always seems to be missing.  I've never taken Meg Ryan to be much of a stand-up comedian.  And, I can figure out the whole story line after I watch the opening credits.  Girl meets boy, girl loves boy, sad stuff happens, boy loves girl again, The End.  Long story short (don't you hate when people say that), if you wanna take me on a date to see a movie, there better be a fart joke or a fine Black man; otherwise consider that your first and last date.

What kind of movies would I rather watch?  Well, obviously Tyler Perry films....they're more credible.

~ @AllEyesOnDiv

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Everything's better with Bacon

Sooo, I LOVE food.  I love all kinds of food.  Chinese Food, Italian Food, Mexican Food, Soul Food, Seoul Food; I love it all.  But I especially love bacon.  Not turkey bacon, not Canadian bacon, pig bacon.  Food just tastes better with bacon.  Put a lil in your vegetables; from drab to fab.  Macaroni & cheese; as if it needed anything to make it better, but it does.  I've even heard rumors of a bacon & maple flavored cupcake.  ($20 to the person who gets me one of THOSE.)  Ahhh alas, this is my love song to bacon.

Tomorrow I will follow this post with a sonnet to carrots.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Christmas Countdown: Merry Christmas from Whitney Houston

Remember before Whitney did crack.

Then after.

In the spirit of Christmas giving, I would like to share with you all one of my favorite Christmas past times.  I hope you all enjoy this clip as much as my sister and I do.

Disclaimer: Before anyone gets all up in arms about this post, I LOVE Whitney Houston.  Ever since I was 5 years old I swore I was gonna be a singer when I grew up & it's because of this lady.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

But, I can't get my hair wet

...the famous last words of every Black girl on the planet.

As Black women we are more attached to our hair then anything else.  Ask a Black women if she would rather be bald or lose an arm....9 times outta 10, she'd rather be maimed.  I get it, I too am extremely attached to my hair, but as Black women we miss out on some stuff simply because we don't wanna get our hair wet.

Swimming: Yeah, we go swimming, but there is definitely preparation that goes into it.  Not to mention those horrible looking swim caps which went out in 1924.  Riding in convertibles:  Well, I dunno if we're actually missing out on anything here, but I've never done it and probably never will.  Working out: I used this excuse for 23 years ... which explains how I ballooned up to 250 pounds.

Long hair, short hair, natural or weave; ladies we are beautiful either way!  Just please, oh please...

stay away from lacefronts! 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...