Monday, November 5, 2012

Lemonade

My apologies in advance for the length of this post...I had to purge.

I've mentioned to you guys before that my blog often doubles as my diary.  I share all my thoughts with yall; the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Well, in the spirit of being honest, transparent, and telling my truth, I have to tell yall...I got laid off from my job a few weeks ago.

As yall know, I was a special education teacher and then went back to school to get a Master's degree in education policy.  After I got my second Masters, I got a job as an educational researcher.  I wanted to help kids; I wanted to influence policy for thousands of children; I knew that as I teacher I could reach my students, but I wanted to reach all students.  So I took this job and from the first day, I knew I wasn't supposed to be there.  I tried to make the best of it...worked hard, come to the table with great ideas, made friends with my co-workers.  However, no matter how hard I tried, nothing felt right.

At this job, I endured a boss whose sole purpose was to break me and he nearly succeeded.  You ever encounter people who disturb and upset your spirit?  My boss was that to me.  It was clear to me that he wanted me out and when he got the opportunity, he did just that.

So, I was laid off.  I've never been laid off before.  I was more shocked than saddened.  When I got to work at 9 AM that morning, I wasn't expecting to be told at 10 AM that I had to turn in my keys.  This definitely wasn't the job God wanted me to have, but I wanted to be the one to end it on my terms.  I'm still in shock that I'm 28, unemployed, crushed under student loan debt, with 3 degrees hanging on my wall.  (Umm, helloooooo 99%).  But surprisingly, I don't feel bad.

In the weeks leading up to my untimely exit, God was putting things in place to help me deal with it.  I went home for a 4-day weekend instead of my usual 3-day.  At home, I can always regroup and get back to me.  God had me renew my teaching license which had expired 1 1/2 years ago.  My teaching license came in the mail 4 days before I was laid off.  Teaching has always been my first love and I was pretty damn good at it too.

My boss handed me lemons on that Friday, but God had been giving me sugar the whole time.

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