Parenting Advice from a Teacher

It's back to school time again!  Time for my annual advice to parents of school age children.  As someone with no children, I feel fully entitled to give parenting advice...because I'm an educator.  I've interacted with hundreds of children and their families and these are the problems I see year after year.

1. Put the iPads down.  I know it's free babysitting and free entertainment but you know how your eyes feel after staring at a computer screen all day? Why would you do that to your children.  Also, kids these days aren't developing the fine motor skills of children of yesteryear.  Why? Because swiping an iPad left or right doesn't require dexterity.  And they'll need that one day to, oh I dunno, tie their shoes.
2. Bedtime is important. Putting your children on a routine is paramount.  All kids crave structure.  And, did you know children's bodies require 10-12 hours of sleep? So, this going to bed at 10 PM and waking up at 6 AM nonsense might work for you, but not for them. Also, kids with bags under their eyes are statistically less cute than kids without.
3. Turn the cell phones off and talk to your kids. Most schools have a NO PHONE ZONE at school and lemme tell you why.  Too often, parents come to pick their kids up from school all with a phone attached to their ears.  They don't speak to or acknowledge the child, the teacher, or anyone else in the building.  Put your cell phone away and spend that quality time with your child.  You can get back on Twitter and talk to your friends at 7 PM, when your kids go to bed. (See what I did there...)
4. If you feed your kids McDonald's, they will crave McDonald's. Basically, you have to watch what your children eat.  I know parents who make separate meals for all of their children.  Who got time for that? I also know kids who refuse to eat green vegetables but will only eat McDonald's french fries.  As the parent, you set the tone for what your children will and won't eat.

Ok...go forth and have a wonderful school year!

Quiz Master

By now, I'm sure you're all familiar with Buzzfeed and it's inane and insane quizzes. Some of the quizzes are fun...some are asinine.  Since I too am fun and asinine, I decided to do a list of Buzzfeed quizzes I'd like to see. 

• Which Clark sister are you?
• In which city will you meet your husband?
• Should you have that piece of cake for dessert?
• Are you pregnant?
• Do you look better with long or short hair?
• Which Dugger are you?
• Bae or not bae?

What Buzzfeed quiz would you like to see?

Chicken Pot Pie

I know chicken pot pie is probably a winter dish but I DO WHAT I WANT!  And I felt like chicken pot pie this weekend.  I decided to make my own, lightened up version.  After all, I'm still on my quest lose approximately 300 pounds.  Anyways, the great thing about this recipe, is you can use whatever you have in your refrigerator or freezer.

Ingredients
Refrigerated biscuits
Boneless, skinless chicken breasts - diced and seasoned
1/4 c. Mirepoix (diced carrots, onions, celery)
1 TB butter or olive oil
1 TB flour
1/4 c. chicken stock
1/8 c. milk
Any vegetables you want
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees






1. Flatten each refrigerated biscuit and place in bottom of lightly greased ramekin.
2. Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 10 minutes
3. On stove top, heat 1 TB butter or olive oil and cook chicken and mirepoix
4. Once chicken is browned and vegetables have caramelized, dust with flour.  Mix until flour is incorporated.
5. Deglaze pan with chicken stock and milk.  Your chicken mixture should be nice and thick.  (If you have any other vegetables you want to incorporate, now is the time.) Season your mixture one more time.
6. Spoon chicken mixture into ramekins with half-baked biscuits.  Place another flattened biscuit on top of chicken pot pie mixture.
7. Bake for 20 minutes.

Mmmm....good.

The Secret

Now that I'm 30 (I'm gonna start all my blog posts like this from now on), I have learned the #1 secret about men. Ladies, throw out your Steve Harvey books, stop reading all those relationship blogs...I know the secret. 

The secret is: A man will wife you/commit to you/marry you when HE is ready. Nothing you can do, say, look like, dress like, or act like is going to speed up this process. 

It doesn't matter if all his friends are married. 

It doesn't matter if you can cook. 

It doesn't matter if you're a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. 

It doesn't matter if he's 40. 

It doesn't matter what Cosmo says are the Top 1000 ways to get a man.  

It doesn't matter if he loves his momma. 

It doesn't matter if he thinks you're amazing. 

If he ain't ready, he ain't doing it. 

Now that we've cleared that up, let's find that missing plane. 

Single Woman's Disease

Definition
Single Woman's Disease is the mental condition of being perpetually single while approaching or in your 30s.

How Common is it 
Scholars debate this number, but Single Woman's Disease is said to affect between 30-80% of Black women. Onset is typically after the age of 27.

Symptoms

• You've been on more bad dates than good dates
• You haven't been on a date in more than a year
• Every time you see an engagement, birth, or wedding announcement you want to barf
• You're parents speculate that you are a lesbian on the low
• You decide to get another degree since you've got nothing better to do
• You dip back to your ex 
• Checking your online dating app is the highlight of your Friday night 
• You've deduced that you will have to meet your husband on your living room couch, since you don't leave it on the weekends
• If one more person says "You'll find the right one when you least expect it" you're gonna go AWF!

How is it Diagnosed
If at any time you've been out with your girlfriends and uttered the phrase "N*66as ain't sh*t" ... you've got SWD

How is it Treated
Step into your amazing.  Live your life. Be the woman you always dreamed you would be right now.  Or, you know, that whole Prince Charming thing.

Countdown to 30!

So it's my birthday month...15 days til my 30th birthday and I am freaking...out.

I guess I always assumed that by my 30th birthday I'd be a bit more...hmmm...accomplished.  (As I sit here and write this, it's a Saturday night and I'm sitting alone, pants-less, on the couch.)  More accomplished in my personal life and professional life.  I assumed by 30 I would have had a husband, a baby, a Grammy.  I'm 0 for 3.

When I turned 25, I was in the thick of my quarter-life crisis and was all about life changes.  I quit my job as a teacher, moved to NYC, and went into debt started grad school.  As I approach 30, I'm beginning to realize that all I really want is to be...sure. Does that make sense?

So, to all my 30-somethings, what's the one piece of advice you wish someone told you when you turned 30? 

Party harder. Sleep Tomorrow.

Y'all have missed me...I know.  I promise I'm trying to do better.  But it's so hard being fabulous every weekend AND writing a blog. *sigh*

One thing you should know about me is I DO summer.  I'm a summer baby and a teacher, so summer has always equaled freedom.  

Last weekend, my girls and I went to a huge party in Brooklyn.  Brooklyn, while trendy and poppin in the summer, is light years away from me in Harlem.  So going there is always a trek treat.  

When in Brooklyn, you gotta bring your A-game outfit wise.  So, when I saw this t-shirt at H&M, I knew it would be perfect.  The best part about this shirt...I got it from the Men's Department. Ha! 

Gentrification

I thought this shirt perfect described my summer motto.  #PartyHarderSleepTomorrow