Baked French Toast ~ Lightened Up

One of my favorite recipes is Paula Deen's Baked French Toast.  It's sweet, it's decadent, it has 2 sticks of butter.  Since I'm tryna get my body back, that's a no go.  So this is the lightened up version.  Baked French Toast is great breakfast cuz you usually have all the ingredients you need in your house.

Ingredients:
Brioche bread
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk
1 T. brown sugar
Cinnamon
1/4 c. <<Secret Ingredient>>

1. Dice up your bread in 1-inch pieces and place in your baking dish.

 2. Mix your brown sugar and cinnamon with your bread pieces.

3. Mix together your eggs and milk....and this is where you add the secret ingredient...Disaronno*

4.Push the bread pieces down with a fork until they are covered with your milk mixture.

5. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

*Disaronno is an almond liqueur.  You can achieve the same flavor profile using almond extract but using liqueur is funner.  

I'm not a B*tch or a Ho

Ladies, why do we call each other bitch or ho?  Is it really a term of endearment.

Today, ladies have taken these words and openly call themselves "Queen Bitch" or "5-star Bitch" or "Down Ass Bitch."  It's as if women wear these terms with pride.  But why?  Why would you want to be called out of your name?  Recently, Kanye West wrote a song about his (excuse me while I throw up in my mouth) girlfriend, Kim Kardashian, titled Perfect B*tch.  Well, Ms. Kardashian gushed about how flattered she was.  Is it really flattering? He could have titled the song "My Perfect Kim" but instead he called you a bitch and you're cool with it? Ok.

See, I have a couple of problems with Mr. West's (and others) use of this word.  It's derogatory, no woman should ever accept that as being okay, what are we teaching our daughters about respecting themselves, and would you want someone to use that term referring to your mother?  You see, when I was growing up, we had Queen Latifah reminding us we weren't a bitch or a ho; now Nicki Minaj makes songs called "Stupid Ho" about other females.  Seems to me we're going backwards.

So ladies, can we stop referring to each other as bitch?  It's bad enough that men use that term freely, we shouldn't contribute to it as well.

"I'm Coming to Visit"

...the famous last words.

Ever since I came to live in New York, I hear those words often; "I'm coming to visit."  I like people.  I'm nice.  I welcome visitors.  But everyone visiting friends in New York, PLEASE. HAVE. A PLAN.

This infamous conversation usually goes a lil something like this:

Friend: Hey, I'm thinking about coming up to New York next weekend!
Div: Cool.  What do you wanna do?
Friend: I dunno.  I just wanna see everything.

::And scene::

This is where the conversation goes bad.  There are 58908908 + 1 things to do in NYC.  Pick something!  I get that under normal circumstances, one wouldn't require their guest to plan their own trip, but here, it's necessary.  What borough do you wanna go to? What type of pizza do you want?  Do you wanna buy a knock-off purse or a real Louis Vuitton? Cuz we can do it ALL!

So, here's a tip for all of you guys visiting your NYC friends: Know what you wanna do.  Or else we gon do what I usually do here...chill on my couch.

P.S. THIS IS MY 100TH POST!! *fist bump*

Book Review: Bitch is the New Black

This book, by Helena Andrews, is a memoir similar to my BFF in my head A Belle in Brooklyn.  Andrews also talks about her experiences being a young, professional Black woman trying to figure out relationships and careers.  In the first chapter, Andrews describes a relationship as "more than a working relationship, less than a romantic relationship" (genius!  Who hasn't been there?)  Later, she describes our generation of Black women as "little brown girls--drunk off The Cosby Show, sobered up by life" (hey, that's me!)  OMG, she's talking about me! 

While I think Helena's humor is dryer than Belle (also like me), her writing style is sometimes hard to follow.  But I will say, Helena covers everything, even sensitive subjects like abortion, with humor.  So, definitely add this one to your bookshelves ladies.

Next Up:  Money Can't Buy Love by Connie Brisco

Dealbreaker

As yall know, I'm single so that means I spend 20 hours a day talking about being single and finding a man.  Recently, my conversations have centered around what I'm looking for and I'm beginning to wonder, do I want too much?  Do I have too many deal breakers?  My ideal man:

1. Must eat pork. I don't get down with this anti-pork generation.  Make me a honey baked ham glazed with bacon grease.
2. Must be funnier than me.  And I'm pretty damn funny.
3. Must work hard. You don't have to be doctor or a lawyer, but you better hustle hard and be the best damn (fill in the blank) there ever was.
4. Must have good teef.  Cuz I don't want buck-toothed children.
5. Must not be douchey. I don't care where you got your degree from, everybody's sh*t stinks.
6. Must be worldly. You gotta be able to talk about everything from Snooki to Syria.  And take me places, an empty passport is a wasted passport. 
7. Must like to clean.  Cuz I hate it.  I'll do the cooking, but that bathroom will not clean itself.
8. Must love Jesus.  This one's a non-negotiable. 

So, what yall think?  Too much?


Ladies (and Gents), what are your dealbreakers?

A Girls Guide to Football Season

Well Ladies, football season is upon us.  I'ma huge football fan (GO STEELERS!) but I feel like female football fans usually fall into 4 categories:

• True Fans: These girls actually watch the games, know the players & plays, and possibly have a fantasy team.
• Groupie Girls: These girls know players, contracts, and away team hotels.
• If you like it, I love it: These girls talk about football because they think guys like it.  In actuality, they don't know the difference between a LB and OL.
• What's Football?: These girls don't care about football, at. all.

Since I'm always breaking things down for yall, I wanted to give you the Girls Guide to the 2012-2013 Football Season.

True Fans: So many story lines for this season: The return of Peyton Manning and his broken neck; Lolo Jones' soul mate (Tebow) trying to help make the Jets relevant while the Giants continue to quietly go about their business; the media made rivalry of Andrew Luck vs RGIII; can the Saints rebound from Bountygate?; and finally will an old favorite (STEELERS, Patriots, Packers) win it all or will a "oh so close" team finally put the pieces together (49ers, Eagles, Ravens).

Groupie Girls: You might want to spend most of your time checking the sidelines and learning jersey numbers.  Also, make sure you read reports of who's gotten cut; football players can get cut mid-season & then they'll be unemployed, like yourself.  Also, if they are on Special Teams, their career probably won't last too long...go for a REAL player, go for the starters.  Obviously everyone goes for the quarterback and wide receivers.  If all you want is the baby daddy or to live the "Basketball Wives lifestyle" go for the offensive lineman.  They usually have long careers, make decent pay, don't have groupies like yourself following them, and can protect you from anyone trying to tackle you.  What more could you want in a man?  

If you like it, I love it: Make sure you know which team is playing each other each Sunday.  Also, if you know what city they're from & what their mascot is, you're doing great.  Actually, you can't go wrong cheering for the home team.  Come on, just watch the local news and you should be able to learn SOMETHING about them; a coach, a player, a team color.

What's Football?: Ummm, you might want to get another TV for your household.  

So there you have it, the Girls Guide to the 2012-2013 Football Season.  Are you ready for some football?

The First Day of School!

Yaayyy!  It's the first day of school for your little one!  Aren't you excited?!?  Probably nervous too? It's totally natural.  You raised this child from Day One and now you're sending them off to the big bad world of kindergarten.  As a former teacher, the first day of school is exciting for us too.  We love to see our new students' faces and learn their little personalities.  And you know what makes our year go by even smoother...cooperative and helpful parents.  Here are some DO's and DON'Ts for you first time school-age parents.

DO communicate with your kid's teacher.  If things are changing at home (new sibling, divorce, etc.) let the teacher know.

DON'T think you know more than the teacher.  She has gone to school for education and knows what she's talking about.

DO have a bed time for your kid.  No kindergartner should be watching the opening credits of Leno.

DO read with your kid.  Just because your kid is in school does not mean your teaching responsibility is over.  As the parent, YOU are your kid's first teacher.

DON'T go behind your kid's teacher's back.  If you have an issue with the teacher, address it with her first.  If she's uncooperative or unresponsive, then you can go to the principal.

DO ask to visit your kid's classroom.

DON'T randomly show up at your kid's classroom demanding a visit.

DO go to parent-teacher conferences and open-house nights.  Whether right or wrong, this goes a long way with impressing teachers.

I hope this is a great school year for all you teachers, parents, and kiddies!

Love, Ms. Crystal