Monday, June 25, 2012

Boobs

Disclaimer: This post will not actually have any pictures of boobs.

If you couldn't tell from my pictures, I'm a bit on the top-heavy side.  And because yall are my friends, I can speak honestly: yall gotta do better with your bras.  I'm tired of walking down the street seeing yall looking a mess!  So, here are Div's Rules to healthy, happy, perky breasts.

Rule #1: Your breasts should not greet me before you do; control those puppies.  

Rule #2: Get measured.  The statistic is something like 80% of women wear the wrong bra size.  And yall do!  I don't...because I get measure regularly.  Also, go to a reputable place; not Victoria's Secret.  Surprise surprise, Victoria's Secret is only concerned about getting you into their bras whether they fit or not.

Rule #3: Your straps should not dig into your skin.  There's nothing more unsightly then the dark brown strap marks from years of wear and tear.

Rule #4: Lift & Separate!  Your boobs and your belly button shouldn't be close friends.  Also, you shouldn't have more than 2 breasts.  Yall know what I'm talking about, the dreaded quad-boob and the often never seen, mythical sextuplet-boob. 

Rule #5: I don't care how small you are, ALWAYS. WEAR. A. BRA.

Ok, yall got it??


2 comments:

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