white male privilege vs. The Professional Black Woman

As a double minority, Black Women have had to work twice as hard and be twice as good at everything they do to get to their station in life. I think that's why when the Professional Black Woman comes in contact with white male privilege, it's always a recipe for disaster.

As a Professional Black Woman, you always remember the first time you run up against white male privilege: passed over for a job you were clearly more qualified for, doing the work of others who hold higher titles than you, receiving less pay then colleagues with half your experience. Yes, all of these things still happen ... even in 2012.

One thing I inherited from my mother, besides my good looks and awesome party-hosting abilities was being a professional Black Woman on the opposite side of white male privilege. My mother had to endure training colleagues with less qualifications than her only for that person to later become her boss. She's had to put up with bosses whose sole purpose was to break her spirit. I'm sure my mother assumed that 20 years later, this wouldn't be the world I inherited from her; unfortunately she was mistaken.

See, what I've come to realize is white male privilege is terrified of the Professional Black Woman. As soon as they see us coming, they get nervous and resort to their old tricks: oppression, belittling us, calling us names like Angry Black Woman. You see, they tried for years to break Black Women ... everything from rape to sterilization to voting rights.  But we didn't go anywhere, we're still here.  I'm a Professional Educated Strong Black Woman ... and I'm your worst nightmare.

From Club to Corporate

 

I'm a huge fan of this dress.  It's black and white and hugs my curves in all the right places.  I actually wore this dress for my 26th birthday out on the town in the city.  While it definitely fits in at the club, it's not quite corporate.  So I paired it with this comfy purple cardigan and added an additional pop of color with these red earrings.  PS I'm really starting to love purple & red together.

 

I don't usually stand like this at work.

Dress - Forever 21

Tights - Target

Cardi - TJ Maxx

So You're Thinking About Moving to New York City...

...well don't!

Let me rephrase that.  Make sure you give it some thought.  I LOVE New York.  Three years ago, I made a huge decision to quit my very stable job (as my mother made sure to reminded me) & gave up a gorgeous apartment to move to NYC and attend grad school.  It was a huge change but I did it ... and I love it.  But, it ain't for everybody.

New York is expensive as hell!  Don't think you're gonna come here & live like Carrie Bradshaw or Evelyn Lozada.  You'll most likely live in a closet that costs more than 2 weeks salary.  Not only that, but everything here costs twice as much as it does everywhere else.  Box of cereal - $7.  Happy Meal - $11.  Deodorant - $13.  Aight, these might not be actual figures but they're pretty damn close.

Secondly, ain't no jobs here.  As I mentioned before, I have 2 Master's Degrees & was begging people to hire me.  Trust me, ask any Broadway actor or actresses restaurant waitress or hostess, it's hard out here.  And food for thought, you probably shouldn't move anywhere unless you already have a job lined up anyways.

And you know what, New York stinks ... literally.  You will smell some things here that only the devil himself could create.  Human feces in the train station, throw up on the side walk at 3:00 pm, or someone eating yogurt during your morning commute just to name a few.

So, if you can handle all this stuff, you are 1/867th of the way ready to move to NYC.  Is New York as glamorous as you see on TV?  Yeah, it can be.  Will living here make a man outta you & put some hair on your chest?  Definitely.  After all, they don't say If I can make it here, I'll make it anywhere for nothin.

Let's Split the Check

We've all been there.  You're out to eat with your friends enjoying the fellowship, appetizers, camaraderie and cocktails.  Everyone is having a great time til that dreaded moment...the check arrives.  You begin looking over the bill to add up what you consumed when that lone voice yells out over the table ... "Let's just split it." 

*Death eyes*

Splitting the check is so contentious, it's rumored, to be the cause of World War II.  Friendships have ended over splitting the check.  People have starved over splitting the check.  Men and women have relegated themselves to water and croutons over splitting the check.  When you decide to split the check, you see who your real friends are.  Will your friend who ordered steak over your salad speak up?  Will that friend who's mad cheap finally come through being the cheapskate that she is?  After all, your only other option to splitting the check is spending the next 30 minutes haggling with your friends over how much tax to leave on their third of a $12 calamari appetizer.

Now, I don't know if Ms. Emily Post has a rule on the proper etiquette come check time but Div's rules go a lil something like this:

If everyone is eating, drinking, and being merry, just split the check evenly.  Especially if you're in a restaurant where the entrees are reasonably and similarly priced.  Now, if some people are on their 4th cocktail while others just got dessert, get your calculators out...you're in for a long, numerically taxing night.      

Autism Awareness Month

I *heart* Autism!

April is Autism Awareness Month, and as a former teacher of students with autism, I HAD to commemorate this month.  For those that don't know, autism is a neurological disorder that effects a person's ability to communicate, take care of themselves, relate to other people, and their brain functioning.  Autism was made popular in the movie Rainman, but trust me, not all people with autism are savants.

As a special ed teacher, autism was my favorite disability.  I know that sounds weird, but kid's with autism are amazing.  They live in their own world but every now and then, they'll let you in.  Once you're in, you are in for a hilariously challenging ride but it's all worth it when you see them learn a new skill or make a new connection.  Although I don't teach anymore, I think about my students all the time.  Kids with autism will always hold a special place in my heart.

This month, I want to honor every mother, father, sister, brother, and teacher of children with autism.  I know personally that they are exceptional people with gigantic hearts and thick skin.  If no one else tells you today or any day, I think you are AMAZING!

Book Review: Little Black Book of Success

This book is a compilation of advice from 3 Black businesswomen.  While I felt that most of this book was common sense stuff, it's nice to have it all written down in one place.  Not sure I would necessarily recommend it to women who are already assured in their careers and themselves.  However, I would definitely recommend this book as a college graduation gift tho...inspiring future Michelle Obama's everywhere.

On a personal note...This book was right on time for me.  I had been going through a lot of challenges & decisions in my work life.  This book was very reassuring and definitely helped me get through some thangs.

Next up: What do you guys suggest for the next Book Club book??

Blonde Bombshell

Yes, you read that right...I'm a blonde now.  Well, not entirely.  I am still an education professional by day.

So, as I told yall a while back, I LOVED the blonde streaks on A Belle in Brooklyn.  So I went to my local hair & wig shop on 125th St. (HARLEM!) and bought a pack of 613.  What, yall thought I was gonna dye my own hair?? Uhhhhhh, nah.  

When my stylist first put the blonde in, I had a slight heart attack ... cuz it was ... well, blonde.  But I love how it turned out!  Hey, it's something new & fresh for spring right.

This pic is courtesy of my fabulous co-worker!

Dress & Denim Jacket - Forever 21